You’ve probably heard of the fairytale about The Princess and The Frog. The story is about a beautiful hardworking girl, Tiana, who was deceived by a prince-turned frog into kissing him and in return, he would grant her her wildest dreams. Prince Naveen hoped that he will turn back into a prince after kissing a princess, but instead Tiana ends up turning into a frog herself. Now that’s a damn shame. It has a happy ending though.
Does this story sound familiar? Yes, at one point in our lives, we’ve been seduced by the ideology of kissing a frog and hoping it will turn into Prince Charming; the knight in shining armour, who will rescue us from our miserable lives, sweep us off our feet and take us to happily ever after – on a white horse and a carriage. But instead, we end up getting turned into the very frog we tried to save. Heartbreaking!
This then creates an endless cycle of kissing frogs and hoping that just one of them will bestow upon us the glory and worthiness of a prince/princess. Well, the truth is a prince will always be a prince and a frog a frog, to some. Although one man’s frog is another man’s prince.
As the popular adage goes, you must kiss many frogs before you find your prince. Let’s break it down to see the reasons why we end up kissing frogs before we get to the proverbial prince.
Why You Keep Attracting Frogs Instead Of Prince Charming
You do not want to be alone
The prince, in The Princess and The Frog, was cut off from the family inheritance for being an incompetent dolt. The thought of venturing out alone scared him. He, therefore, sought to find a vulnerable princess to prey on. One who will hand him her inheritance on a silver platter.
Does the thought of being alone scare you, more so that you jump on the first bandwagon that comes around? This objectivity will have you falling hopelessly into unrequited love with the next frog that comes along hoping that he will turn into your prince. Spoiler alert, he won’t.
You are too guarded
Guarding your heart against heartbreaks requires shielding it from love as well. Building too many high walls makes it difficult for anyone to break through them, even a prince. Unless you are Rapunzel, then you can let your long hair down and prince charming can use it as a climbing ladder to your heart. If not, then it is wise to not be too logical with matters of the heart.
You are falling in lust
The frog-prince saw the princess and fell in love with her beauty whilst the princess saw the frog and fell in love with the idea of a get rich quick scheme to start her restaurant business. Their intentions were not guided by love but by satisfying their own selfish desires.
Sometimes you fall in love with someone’s beauty, intelligence, finances or just the idea of being with that person and not the person themselves. Relationships with the wrong person(frog) are like bright flames, exciting at first but they die eventually after a short period of time.
Princess Tiana was at the wrong place at the right time when she had an encounter with the frog-prince. Even though they were eventually meant to be together, the timing of their first meeting was wrong. This led to a rollercoaster of highly undesirable outcomes.
Have you ever met the right person at the wrong time and at the wrong place? Perhaps you both are at different stages of your life, and the circumstances just don’t allow for a thriving relationship. The outcome of these unfortunate events will cause your partner to look like a frog while under the right circumstances they might have been a prince.
Lack of communication
The frog prince fails to communicate, or rather tell the truth, that he doesn’t have the money to help Princess Tiana start her business, as does the princess that she isn’t a true princess.
Communication is the foundation of any relationship and without it, the relationship is bound to fail. On the other hand, communication-based on blatant lies is a recipe for disaster. Communicating with the other person will help you understand if you are compatible with each other.
How to Wade Off the Frogs and Attract Your Prince Charming
Be Your True Self
Authenticity attracts love. It’s mostly not about finding the right person but becoming the right person. If you don’t know who you are yet then it will be difficult to figure out the other person. Instead of seeking outer validation, find ways to fill yourself first. Court yourself first; figure out your own interests, or hobbies; practice self-care, meditate, exercise; find your tribe of people whom you can truly connect with; take yourself out for dates. This will help you understand how you like to be treated, what kind of person you want to be with. In that way, you will attract your prince and you won’t need to settle for less.
Stop Actively Hunting Down Love
Actively hunting down love causes you to confuse signs like kindness and compassion for romantic love. Compatibility does not equate to love. Instead, let it come to you naturally. Love isn’t something you can force to happen. When the frog prince and frog princess stopped trying to pursue their selfish needs, their relationship was able to blossom and flourish. Love takes time to nurture and grow, and it eventually blooms like a flower in autumn.
Stop Waiting for the Knight in Shining Armor
Some knights might come as frogs in prince’s clothing just to deceive you, so instead of being a damsel in distress, just focus on taking care of yourself. Eventually, your prince will come, not to save you, but to carry you off into happily ever after.
Looking for your other half and waiting for another person to complete you, only implies that you are not whole and complete. Try maintaining your own independence and become a separate individual from your partner. This will give you your own identity and you will not need another person to define you. Your significant other should compliment you, not complete you.
Take Away Thoughts
One of the best ways to narrow down the scope between frog and prince is to find your love language. According to The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, there are five general ways that romantic partners can express and experience love:
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Acts of service
Have you identified your love language and is your prince charming matching it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.